The Game of Life

It was such a good idea. I wanted our family to spend some time together playing a board game. I was expecting lots of laughter and fun amidst a myriad of snacks, which in our family equals fun sadly enough. In fact, I could put out a large plate of nachos and no game would be needed. However, we decided to play The Game of Life. We all picked our playing piece from plastic cars in a variety of colors and put the sex appropriate colored peg in the front driver seat. In the original game this was a straight plastic peg with a ball on the end representing the head. Now the pegs have developed shoulders. I am not sure why except for the fact that you must need big shoulders in The Game of Life. I was in the orange car obviously driven by a pink peg with shoulder pads. I had to remind my youngest that he needed a blue peg. Oh brother! We all took turns spinning the wheel to see who would go first. My youngest won the spin and the game began.

My family is quite vocal and so it wasn’t but a few minutes into the game when everyone was talking at the same time and I was confused beyond belief. This is happening more often lately, something to do with being in my 40’s. My oldest son, who was married last summer, suggested that everyone should talk one at a time before my head popped off. I thanked him as I was sure that my head was in fact ready to launch itself into the light fixture above the table. I have the funniest kids but their problem is that they don’t know when to stop. The older I get the sooner I think they should stop. Anyway…….

The first choice each of us had to make was whether we are going to go to college or just hop in and choose a career. You did this by drawing a card from the deck of career cards and then drawing a salary card. If you choose to go to school you had to take a bank loan of $100,000. (Great) This supposedly was to allow you the opportunity to choose a better career with a higher salary. So I chose the education route, trying to be a good example to my children. They all laughed at me and went the career route. I was shaking my finger at them wanting to use this as a teachable moment.

Over the next few turns all of us had drawn our career and salary cards. They were all entertainers (big surprise, I wonder if there is a smart alek category for entertainer), athletes, tech support, etc. and had very very nice salaries in which they would get the joy of collecting every time the passed a payday. I, on the other hand was an accountant and I drew $30,000 a year for a salary and I had a huge loan to pay back. They did not. Not only that I landed on every “have a baby” square on the board. If I had one more baby I would have had to attach another car to the back of my orange mini van playing piece. Everyone was having a hoot and naming my children. They were all married with no children and huge salaries, very large bank accounts and nice homes which they sold later in the game for a huge profit. I was too busy paying off the school loan and paying expenses for the children to buy a house. My oldest son kept doing things that contradicted the rules of the game and when we would correct him he would say,” But I am a millionaire, I can do whatever I want.” What a joker!

As the game went on everyone was laughing except me. I thought to myself, “This is a little too real.” I thought I had made all the right choices in order to have a nice life/game and it all back fired. At the end of the game I retired but with little money. However, I had a huge family to visit me in my retirement home. I am not sure how I paid for it but I was there.

The game was full of decisions like buying insurance, buying a home, which route to take and even though we tried to make the best decisions possible the game still snuck up and surprised us. For instance, I landed on the square where you had to pay $5000 per child for a college fund. Considering I had four little plastic big shouldered children it cleaned me out until the next payday and I still was paying off the loan for my own college. I wanted to pull my hair out. Does any of this sound familiar to anyone? My millionaire son won of course. I let him know that that did not mean he could do anything he wanted. He disagreed but that’s his wife’s problem now.

We cleaned up the game and everyone either headed home or headed to bed and I headed to a sleepless night where I relived our life year by year trying to re-evaluate the choices we made. I should have been deep in sleep but I was deep in thought. I thought that we had made all the right choices when we started our life together Garry and I, but life continued to sneak up on us. We have landed on numerous bizarre life squares and have dealt with them as best we could trying to follow the directions of our maker above who could see the whole picture. At times He has steered us to routes that others would not take because it didn’t look smart to them. And sometimes we have had to ask the very honest question of God, “why?”

Just like in the game when I landed on a tragic or stressful life square I would slump in my chair not believing that that just happened. Then I would sit up and work through the pain and move on. As the game neared the end I thought to myself, “I might as well refill everyone’s drinks and get more chips because I am so not going to make it to the end, at least not with anything in my pocket.” I also realized that I have come to a similar place in my real life almost wanting to just give up.

I woke up the next morning a bit down and then the Lord started reminding me of things that He has said to me along the way and I realized that if I hadn’t come this way I would have missed these precious Words. This is maybe not the life I would have chosen for myself. Quite frankly, I would love to have a life of luxury where I do nothing but travel or to have a brilliant career where I am well respected and successful. But God has called us to ministry. Talk about a bizarre life square! Where a lot of times there is not extra money to travel and sometimes you get no respect. The rain falls on everyone and we have had our share, as I am sure you have had your share.

So I am on a quest to remember what He has said to me in the times of trial and stress as well as the times of joy and laughter and to record them for my own healing and hopefully for your benefit. So that you can see that God works and speaks to us in the times of extreme pressure not for the purposes of meanness but for the purposes of conforming us into the image of His Son Jesus. This life is not about retiring with all the gadgets or funds but reaching the end of the race and hearing. “Well done, good and faithful servant”. I want to walk into heaven all used up. Really, He is not going to be too impressed by all the clever things that I did for myself. The only thing He is looking for is the blood of His Son covering me making me righteous before God. I remember as a young mother telling God to “bring it on”, whatever it took to make me like Him. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that life has been a bit of an adventure. I have triumphed at times and I have had times of failure. I have climbed a mountain and have rafted the white water of the valley. I can tell you this that I have lived. I choose adventure. I choose faith. I choose the narrow way, the high road and the road less traveled. I do not choose clichés or sanctimonious sayings. I choose the Word of Life. I choose the lifetime goal of knowing Him above success or renown. The road I have traveled has taught me much. The road ahead has much to teach me. For I know that all things work together for good, for those that love God and are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28
Yes even my stupidity. Even my failures. Even my weakness.

People are like Creme Brulee

Have you ever met someone who is just hard. You wonder if there is anything tender or sweet about them at all. I was eating one of my favourite deserts when it hit me that I have an acquaintance that is like Creme Brulee. She is hard and a bit abrasive. And then the moment of truth, you crack through that hard outer shell and you find yourself enjoying the sweet treat underneath. She is adventurous and rebellious, say what she thinks and stands her ground. She is truly a free spirit. We have had completely different lives. I have played it safe....she has thrown caution to the wind. I have something to learn from her and I am sure she could possibly learn something from me.....maybe. I would have missed it if I would have wrote her off as too hard to get to know. Big lesson!!!!!! Spend enough time with people to get to really know them and life will be sweeter and maybe just a bit more adventurous. You are never too old to make a friend. While it is a safe bet that you will not see me sky diving......I am going to try something new.....like try to enjoy art or walk somewhere that takes me all day........

Do you know a creme brulee kind of person? Stay long enough to break through the hard topping and get to know them.

Before there was book on tape.......there was me!

I love to read aloud, especially to my family. It all started years ago when our family was traveling from Winnipeg to Kansas City. The children were small and so we decided to make the 14 hour trip through the night so that the children would sleep. We left our house at 5:00 p.m. ate our picnic dinner in the car and then got the children settled for the night. I had brought a book to read and so I picked it up to begin reading. It was "The Client" by John Grishom. Just to be a smart aleck I looked at Garry and began reading it out loud. He gave me a look to let me know that he was not impressed.......so just to be irritating I continued reading aloud. I finished the first chapter and decided that was enough and continued chapter 2 silently. All of a sudden Garry said, " Ahhh...I was really getting into that. Could you keep reading it to me?" I just looked at him in shock. So I kept reading and reading and reading.

After a few hours the sun was disappearing and I was struggling to see the print so I stopped reading. We were just entering a town and Garry pulled over to make a stop. We didn't need gas so I sat patiently in the car as I thought that he needed a "pit stop". Much to my surprise he came out of the convenience store with a flash light.....so I could continue the book. I couldn't believe it. I agreed to read to him only if he went back in the store and bought me a drink as I almost couldn't speak from the reading that I had already done.

To make a long story short I finished the book as we pulled up to my parents house at 8:00 a.m. I had read for 14 hours straight. It took me two days to get my voice back but we had a blast together listening to that story. Over the last 10 years I have read many books to my family and we have thoroughly enjoyed each one. It is a source of comfort to us. It makes us feel like a family.

This has been on my mind as I began reading a book to my son Trace last night. It is a long book and should take us most of the summer holiday to finish. The cool thing is that Trace is now 13. I would have never guessed that he would allow me to read a book to him at this age. I just left his bedroom where I was reading our daily quota of pages. As I finished the last few words of the chapter I noticed that he was sleeping. It was precious. I kissed him good night and told him I loved him and he sleepily said he loved me too. Life does not get better than that I have to tell you. Life may seem complicated in most aspects but nothing is more comforting then simply spending time with someone you love and a good book.

Thank you Jesus for the gift of time with Trace. What a blessing. He won't hold my hand in public but he will let me sit on his bed and read to him and this mom is extremely thankful for that .

I don't want to be a Bible smarty pants......I want to know Him.

Have you ever just had a revelation moment? I had one of those this last week. I have always wanted to go to bible college. I did go to university but when I explored the possibility of being a bible major I was discouraged because I was a woman. I caved and became a history education major. In fact, I didn't quite graduate because of our call to a church in Winnipeg. So deep down I have kicked myself for not following my heart and going for the Bible major.

Several moves and three children and a crazy life has come on full speed and that desire to dig in and study has not had chance to completely develop. This week I had that moment when I asked myself, "Why not?" I still don't have the time or the money to actually go to school. However, I can know God's Word because the Holy Spirit is my teacher. I have made the decision that I am enrolling in the school of the Holy Spirit. I am doing deeper!!!!

I have enrolled in a bible study seminar this month at Precepts Ministries and with the skills that I learn I am going to make Bible study a priority. I have scheduled the books of the Bible that I am going to study for the next 5 years with Precepts Upon Precept courses. Here is the thing.......... I plan to never graduate. I plan on being the oldest student ever and I also plan on seeing Jesus with my reading glasses on and my Bible in my hand and questions in mind.

Here is the reason that I have made this decision. I want to know Him. That 's it. I do not want to be a Bible smarty pants but I want to know God. My prayer is that He will make me smarter than I am. I am glad that I don't understand everything about His Word because if I did wouldn't you be afraid.

I am on a journey and God is doing a great thing in many more people that feel a call to go deeper. Let me challenge you to tuck yourself away with His Word, a pencil and paper and let Him speak to you.

True Confessions of a Bible Sniffer!

I have a serious addiction. I love books. One of my favorite get aways is a book store. Preferably a Christian bookstore but I have been know to spend hours in a Chapters bookstore as well. It is like a spa day for me. I especially love picking up a Chai Tea Latte from Starbucks then browsing through the rows of books. I love historical fiction, biographies, and children's books.
I love the smell of books. I have been known to flip the pages of a new book and sniff it. Yes I know that it is ridiculous. But.....I love it. You know that you have a problem when your friends know this about you and want you to sniff their Bible. My friend Kimberley P. received a new Bible after home church one night from her husband and she had to come back in the house to show it to me and to let me sniff it. Which I did and enjoyed immensely. My idea of a great holiday is a chair on a beach and a book. Preferably a real thick saga. When I read I truly escape.
So I guess it will not surprise you that I have many many bibles. I have most translations. All sizes and shapes. I am so tempted when I am in the book store to check out whats new in the Bible department. They have come out with some of the coolest Bibles. I adore the red leather briefcase Bible. It is smashing. No, I didn't buy it. But I sure wanted to.
My husband says that I need to join of support group for Bible addictions. I think it is called Bible study. So I think that I will take him up on that. Ha Ha
At the end of this month Garry and I are taking a 4 day Precepts course where we will learn to study the Bible inductively and we are so excited. I have wanted to do this for years and years and the fact that I get to do this with Garry is so cool. There is nothing more important then knowing Jesus and that happens when you spend time with Him in His Word. So I guess if there is an allowed addiction it would probably be the Bible.
Take a deep breath of His Word. It is OK to be a Bible sniffer.

No thank you, I am a pixie!

I stood before the mirror and said out loud, “Lord, what am I supposed to look like?” This had been brought on by recent weight gain, new shorter hair cut and the return to my original hair colour, dark brown from a honey golden blond. Who was the woman in the mirror and how could she be 43? I also saw pain in the eyes coming from deep within. I read a book that had made a profound statement which really stirred my heart. I must go through the pain not mask the pain. But if I didn’t mask the pain that means I would have to feel it. Was I up for that?

I made the decision to not medicate myself to numb the pain. I was “using” at a staggering rate. Before you start panicking I was “using” salty crunchy snacks to help alleviate the pain and it had cost me huge. (No pun intended) This is North America’s acceptable drug of choice. But looking in that mirror I decided to say no. Just say no to snacks.

I know who I am in Christ. But who am I in this body? When I asked God to tell me what I was supposed to look like? I heard in my heart, "You are a little pixie". It was like a term of endearment. Where did that come from? This is not a word that is in my vocabulary. What is a pixie and what does it look like?

So I looked up the definition

Pixie- a type of fairy or elf often depicted as having pointed ears, wearing a long pointed hat, and being cheerful and rather mischievous.

I just stared at the page. I have a problem with the pointed ears and long pointed hat but I smiled when I read cheerful and rather mischievous. That sounded like the girl I used to know a long long time ago. Then I looked at my bones. I have tiny bones something that had escaped my notice for a very long time. I looked in the mirror again and said, “I am a pixie.” A small woman with no extra baggage, that knows who she is in Christ and is full of the cheerful joy of the Lord and is a little out of control. Not in a sinful rebellious way but in an untamed, free spirited way. Someone who is not afraid to step out and go for it. Someone who dreams regardless of the naysayers. Someone who dares to meet the giant head on with no fear. Someone who loves a challenge. That someone needs to be me. That someone is me. God is in me in the presence of His Holy Spirit and He wants me to fly not crash. It is time to spread my wings and fly.

So enemy of the pixie in me. Watch out. I have put on my armor and you will fall by the hands of this little pixie of a woman with the God of the Universe residing in me. I am not destroyed and am not defeated. I have figured it out. I know who I am and the power that is available to me. You have lost.

By the way, when I am offered a salty crunchy snack I will say, "No thank you." But inside I will be saying to myself "I AM A PIXIE". HAAAA HAAAA! I know that this may sound strange but I can't tell you how it has made me smile to have passed on snacks while flashing a mischievous smile.

I met John Boy at Target!

In a previous blog entry I mentioned my love for The Walton's. You know that T.V. series from the seventies. I left for Rochester with the girls the next morning after entering that blog. We made great time which allowed plenty of time to shop at my favourite place. Target! (Pronounced Tar-jay) We set the time and place for us to meet and headed off in different directions to shop. I only needed a few small items that I had forgot so I was killing time meandering through the store. I was in the music/video section all by myself when I started humming the theme song to the Walton's show. I was still thinking about the blog entry from the day before. The weirdest thing happened. As I am humming I find myself looking into the eyes of John Boy Walton. That's right! In front of my face was the 5Th season of the show on DVD. I have never seen that before nor would I have ever guessed that they would even have an old show like that on DVD. So.........I bought it.

We all check out and everyone is showing what they had bought and I proudly showed my eye liner, body spray and the 5th season of the Walton's. They all just looked at me. I had to explain why this was special to me. My thinking was that we could watch a few episodes on the way home on the DVD player in the van.

Here is the funny part......On the way home we decided to watch not the Walton's but the DVD of the comedian we had seen at Women of Faith. So Kimberley reached up and pulled down the screen. It wasn't a screen but a sunglasses holder. This was a rental van. We thought we had a DVD player and it was a sunglasses holder. This is classic "us".

Earlier tonight I watched the first episode of season 5. As soon as I heard the theme song I start tearing up. I loved it. It is just plain good wholesome TV. Yea!!!! John Boy!